"I'm gonna love you with my life"

So lately I've been waking up earlier than usual (which doesn't seem possible considering the fact that it's impossible for me to sleep in) and until this morning I was pretty upset about it. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then it hit me: a bit ago I kind of complained to God that I didn't have enough time for quality quiet times with Him. Well He definitely fixed that problem (be careful what you pray for...)! So yesterday I opened my Bible to Psalm 63. There really wasn't a reason, I just happened to land there. The verse is about David's thirst for God like someone in a dry, empty land with no water. At first it seemed to me that this was just like every other Psalm-desperation, God's perfect love and God defeating the enemy. Then I read the "daily devo" (I have the Revolve Devotional Bible which I highly recommend to girls of all ages) next to the passage.

(taken from the Daily Devo)
"Do you desire God? I mean really, really want him? There's a big difference between the kind of true, deep desire for God that David talks about in Psalm 63 and the shallow 'wanting' that some people experience...the first step in truly wanting God is realizing how much we need Him...once you see that you're totally lost without God, you're on the right track."

It was at that point that I realized that lately I haven't been truly desiring God. Of course I always claim Him as my Savior and say that I love Him, but what does that really mean to me? The fact alone that I'm typically not even willing to wake up earlier so that my quiet times with God are able to be of greater quality says it all to me. I felt so lame after coming to this realization. I am nothing without Him and lately I've been acting as though I can do it all on my own. Thankfully I have a God that cares for me enough to show me otherwise through miracles I have experienced throughout this past week (ask me about them if you'd like to know). All of this to say, how often do we really stop and take the time to thank God for who He is? How often do we acknowledge that God is the only reason we live, move and breathe? And how often do we thank God for the miracles He performs in our lives?

I am happy to say that I am a terrible, confused and hopeless mess because I have a Savior who loves me all the same and covers my sins with His beautiful grace.